Am I expecting adoption to cure my depression?

I heard back from my brother and sister-in-law on my request for adoption advice. Each sent a separate e-mail. They claimed to be supportive but were actually very negative. He suggested I was trying to use adoption to cure my depression. Um… no. I’ve had it for 18 years. I know nothing’s going to cure it. I was hoping it would fulfill the perfectly valid need I have to mother someone, like most women my age have. He also said that a sibling group of three was too many. When they had their son within 18 months of the adoption going through, it was very stressful and they “were starting from a very stable, well adjusted base”.  Thanks.

She was much more positive but said it seemed rushed because I want to start as soon as we get back to the States. It will be almost two years since our third miscarriage and after taking off 18 months from TTC. She also suggested looking at the possibility of living without children. I’ll think about that option if we get rejected for adoption due to my psychiatric hospitalization history, but not before that.

She did link me to a good site with adoption information and a ton of recommended books. http://www.creatingafamily.org I’ve put two books on my kindle.

I’m not sure how to respond without sounding defensive, so I haven’t yet.

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2 thoughts on “Am I expecting adoption to cure my depression?

  1. I wouldn’t let them discourage you. Only you know what you need. If you feel like it’s something you need to do, do it. I would just respond with: “Thank you for your help and I value your opinion and suggestions. Although it may seem like this decision is rushed or for the wrong reasons, please know that this is something that I have considered for many years and something I do need to pursue.I would appreciate any support that you would be willing to offer.”

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