Slight bleeding at 5 weeks

I missed my period that was due sometime between Wednesday (1/15) and Friday (1/17) last week, but still got negative pregnancy tests until Tuesday (1/21) morning this week. Another one on Wednesday (1/22) morning. The second pink lines were faint, but they were there.

I had been very nauseous in the two weeks leading up to my missed period and the doctor diagnosed me with Labrynthitis, an inner ear inflammation, since the pregnancy test at her office  on the 15th was negative.

When I told my new OBGYN about the pregnancy, she put me on progesterone supplements twice a day until 12 weeks.

They’re not open yet this morning so I can’t call about the bleeding yet. But I still have hope, since it isn’t bright red, it’s more of a pinkish-brown.

So far I’m mostly numb. I have no idea what we’ll do next if we lose this baby, except that I have a vibe that it’s a boy, so we’ll name him Gregory. I’ll expand my memorials. The tattoo, the Jizo statues, and the stacking mother’s ring with what would have been their birthstones. Greg’s estimated due date is the 26th of September. I don’t know if we’ll try again.

But if he lives (oh how I hope he does!) I get to have a real pregnancy.  I’ll get to wear the maternity clothes I’ve been saving. I’ll be huge at the height of summer. I’ll get to hold my own baby, and smell my child’s little head. Please universe, let me keep this child.

UPDATE: My OBGYN says int’s just implantation bleeding and not to worry. But if it gets heavy, to go to the ER.

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