Two weeks later

Two weeks after we lost Greg and I’m still exhausted and dazed.

Here are our memorial Jizo statues. He is the bodhisatva that is the protector of children. It’s a tradition I heard of in Japan, where they put small Jizo statues on the temple grounds to honor and protect lost children. Each Jizo has one of my children’s names painted on the back of his robe. I sometimes light little tea lights in front of them. For Christmas I decorated around them with holly branches and candles.

2014-02-07 09.20.312014-02-07 09.21.25

Here is my mother’s ring. March, August, July and September. My finger’s getting pretty full.

 

2014-02-05 09.45.50

 

 

And here’s my tattoo. It’s still a little red in the picture since it was less than a day old there.

2014-02-01 10.32.34

We met with an RE on the 5th about IVF with PGD. We think it’s the right choice for a next step. But that RE told us we would be better off going with the other reproductive medicine center in town, since our insurance company considers the other place in network and the place we’ve been to as out of network. It’s a difference of them paying 90% vs 70%. and at IVF prices 20% is a lot. We are so lucky that it’s covered. We don’t even get a consult with them until March 28th. The appointment maker wouldn’t give me any indication of when we could start procedures. I’m trying not to be impatient, but I just want to go back to being pregnant. I feel so empty and lonely and barren.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Two weeks later

  1. I’m so sorry for your losses. I love the gestures you’ve made with the various reminders. I wear a Jizo around my neck and I feel protected too. I wish the best for you in the future, thinking of you xx

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s