I tried to stop taking Abilify about three and a half weeks ago, because when I tried to refill it, it was going to cost $799. No decimal place. I tried looking into alternatives but my doctor came up with nothing. I believe that being without it is at least part of why it has been so hard to get out of bed in the mornings, out of my chair at work to actually perform experiments, off the couch. I know a large part of it is my grief.
In any case I decided on Friday (with the help of my therapist) I couldn’t be without it anymore. I went to Target to get it refilled and they said to wait 20 minutes. I walked around Target and got a few groceries and there were so many children and pregnant women there and it was awful. I also needed to waste a little more time, so I glanced at Facebook on my phone. My cousin-in-law had her baby. I started crying while I was in the checkout line and barely made it out to my car before the bawling started. Luckily the drive home is short and I know it well, because I couldn’t stop crying. I cried for another hour when I got home and then slept for an hour.
I eventually rallied and made flan for Valentine’s Day dinner. The Dad made paella, and we had a lovely supper.
I don’t want to do anything but watch TV and eat cookies. Or cry.