First Visit with the RE

The whole visit took almost 2 hours. A large portion of it was actually with the doctor, which I appreciated. He was great. He really explained everything.

We started with going over our history. He agrees that IVF with PGD is the way to go. He did an ultrasound and everything looked good, then a huge number of blood tests, 9 vials. They’ll call me when those come back. I like the nurses and the lab people and I’ve got a good feeling.

One of the tests is for von Willebrand’s disease. My heavy periods and all the bleeding I had after my wisdom teeth pulled are symptoms of it. If I have that he will want me to see a hematologist before we can start.

I’ve got an appointment with an allergist coming up and an endoscopy to see why I’m nauseous so often. He wants to wait to schedule anything until those are done.

He also told me that I need to lose some weight so that the egg stimulation meds work better. So I will work harder on that.

It looks like we’ll be able to do the cycle on birth control starting the end of April, then the stim and retrieval cycle in June and if we get good embryos, a frozen embryo transfer in July.

All in all, it was very good, and I’m very hopeful.

Today is the day

We’ve been waiting a month and a half for this consult.  Our Reproductive Endocrinologist. He will hopefully tell us what our chances are, when we can start the process and how much it will cost. I’m so nervous.

For two weeks I have had a ton of pregnancy symptoms. Nausea and vomiting, swollen tender breasts, darker nipples, massive fatigue (I take an afternoon nap almost every day), frequent urination, headaches, backaches, constipation, bloating  and then my period was late. Four negative pregnancy tests. I did finally get my period on cycle day 32. But all that other stuff is still here.

Anyway, I was scared to death of it. So scared it was going to be a 5th miscarriage. I was not ready.

Deep down I knew I wasn’t pregnant since I had no sense of a child’s aura like I did with miscarriages. When I was really pregnant I had this sense of there being another person with me. I had this feeling about what sex they were and who they wanted to be, but didn’t get to be.

I’ll post again after the consult on what he tells us.

Third Anniversary of Josh’s Due Date

Joshua would have been due three years ago today if he had lived. He would have been 3 years old now. Every time I wrote down the date at work today I had to close my eyes and keep the tears back. I had him for so short a time, and he’s been gone for so long.

It’s so much worse because I’ve lost three more babies in those three years.

Besides that, I still feel horrible, so I’m going to cut this short and go to bed.

Home from Ireland

We got back from Ireland on Friday and I’m pretty much over jet lag now. We spent a wonderful week in Ireland with friends from when we lived there. I had missed it, and them, so much. We sang all weekend, toured Wicklow for a couple days, visited my Toastmaster’s group, and sang some more Thursday night. There was also a lot of Beamish and Murphy’s drunk.

Unfortunately, I brought back my fourth cold of the winter, and today I came down with the stomach flu. I’ve already missed 5 or 6 days of work for being sick and I haven’t even been there 4 months. It makes me very worried that they won’t take me on permanently. However, at my most recent meeting with my boss he did extend my contract from the end of March to the end of June. So they do like my work. He also put several objectives assigned to me on the 2014 goal list and the VP has approved it. Still, I have no real reason to believe I’ll be working there in July and I have no real vacation and no sick days.

Anyway, I’m sure my being sick all the time has to do with the fact that I eat way too much junk and I never exercise.  Except I did hike for 5 hours last Tuesday in the Wicklow Mountains (gorgeous, by the way, if you have a chance GO!) .  I don’t have the energy to do anything different. Because I’m sick all the time. If I’m not sick I’m just generally depressed.

I’m going to see my doctor next Friday. I’ll see if she has any advice.